Funny Status Ideas

Oh, I thought you were talking about napping. In that case no, I'm not good in bed.

Last night I watched a movie about Stockholm Syndrome. At first I hated it, but halfway through I never wanted it to end.

It's been 4 years to the day that I threw that boomerang. I still find myself looking over my shoulder and living in fear.

I call smoking sections Coughy Shops.

I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.

Does the government shutdown mean we can start looting? Asking for a friend.

Halloween is just a month away, and I still haven’t picked out my excuse for not dressing up.