Funny Status Ideas

All of those "Keep Calm" parodies are starting to make me angry...

Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a beautiful day.

Congress continues game of Truth or Dare, no one picks Truth.

Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.

Instead of a sign that says "do not disturb" I need one that says "already disturbed proceed with caution".

The only difference with screwing around and science, is writing it down.