Funny Status Ideas

How long does it take to shoot an apple off someone's head with a bow and arrow? Time Will Tell.

Thank God I have the newest, fastest iPhone so I can mindlessly check the same three apps 5000 times a day.

You don't know broke until you've rinsed off a paper plate.

I believe in magic because it's the only way to explain how fitted sheets get folded.

Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.

I know the voices aren't real but they have some great ideas.

Who needs Halloween decorations when I can just put up my selfies?