Funny Status Ideas

It's hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.

How do they tell if Facebook employees are procrastinating?

I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.

The people who whine about cell phones don't remember how much pointless staring at people there was in the 1990s.

If each day is a gift, I'd like to know where I can return Monday.

You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.

Miracle Whip is a bit of an exaggeration if you ask me.