Funny Status Ideas

Halloween - The only holiday that encourages our kids to take a break from not talking to strangers and not taking their free candy.

I spend too much money on food to afford any diet program...

I want piñatas at my funeral so people can be happy, but filled with bees so they're not too happy.

Twerking should be redefined as "tweeting while at work"

I understand vampires being invisible in mirrors, but what the hell happens to their clothes?

I am trying to give Kim & Kanye their privacy. I just wish they would accept it.

New iPad Air will also make your wallet way lighter.