Funny Status Ideas

"Half a Dozen", because saying "six" was just too difficult.

I think the discovery channel should be on a different channel every day.

I imagine death will be like sleeping but without my toddler kneeing me in the back.

Botox doesn't make you look young, it makes you look like you think you're old.

I'm right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?

I treat my body like a temple. A Temple of Doom, but a temple nonetheless.

I have two modes. Sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.