Funny Status Ideas

Me: 'I really can't stay'. Bed: 'But baby, it's cold outside'.

A lot of kids were upset when they found out Santa was not real, I was more creeped out the fact my parents made me take a picture sitting on a strangers lap and kept it for years.

The world would be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes...

I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center.

Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It's not me, but I'm sure someone does...

I'm trying to give up sexual innuendos, but it's so hard...

People say I'm too condescending (that means I talk down to people).