Funny Status Ideas

Today's Horoscope: You're gullible.

Congrats on your secret admirer! It must be nice having someone who's ashamed to admit they like you!

Nice meeting you, but I forgot your name as soon as you said it...

I'll never understand how I get so much joy from covering my pets with blankets and watching the lumps move around

A great thing about Indian food is that the next day I get to read twice as much!

Facebook is basically people you don't like wishing people you don't know "Happy Birthday!"

If dentists make their money off people with bad teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?