Funny Status Ideas

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it homeless or naked?

I don't always find a TV show I like on Netflix, but when I do, I watch all 7 seasons in 5 days.

My mother's last words were "You can be such a pain sometimes." I mean, she's still alive, I just haven't talked to her since then.

Every year I stay single, my life gets closer and closer to a real life Kathy comic.

I don't have ex's I have Y's. "Y the hell did I date you?"

I don't care how the future pans out, from now on all Amazon deliveries are called drone strikes.

I've tried everything to get to sleep. Well, except for shutting off my phone and closing my eyes. Let's not get too crazy...