Funny Status Ideas

According to Pinterest, I'm severely under-utilizing mason jars.

My wife felt me because I’m dyslexic.

A penny saved is more than a penny earned, because a penny earned is taxed.

The first rule of passive aggressive club is, y'know what, never mind, it's fine...

If you don’t get hired for an unpaid internship it literally makes no difference. Just show up and start working. What are they gonna do, pay you?

Never challenge a stormtrooper to Russian roulette.

Don't judge a book by its movie.