Funny Status Ideas

I don't always find a song I love, but when I do, I run it so far into the ground I start to despise it.

The lyrics to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” are basically two people singing the opening scene to an episode of Law & Order: SVU

Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexicаns!"

A tiny part of me hopes the guy on the Clif Bar wrapper falls.

I drank so much vodka yesterday I woke up with a Russian accent

I don't know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all!

I fall sleep easier naked. Why can’t the flight attendants understand this?