Funny Status Ideas

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for half an hour.

Kissing with morning breath is more intimate than sex.

Since my ear surgery I haven't heard from my doctor. Not sure if that's a good thing or not.

Hungry isn't even a feeling for me anymore. It's basically a personality trait...

I believe in helping the homeless. That's why every year I buy a new refrigerator and throw away the box.

Guilty pleasure? I never feel guilty about pleasure.

One day on Mercury lasts about 1,400 hours. Roughly the same as one Monday on earth feels.