Funny Status Ideas

You picture a lot more hair when you hear "Hair" as opposed to hearing "Hairs".

My grief counselor just died. I really don’t care. I guess we made progress.

Canadian bacon is just ham that's apologizing for not being bacon.

The problem with driving an old air-cooled Volkswagen bus is kids keep mistaking it as an ice cream truck, and the worst part is it's so slow they could almost catch you.

The name Pinball would also be a perfect name for Bowling.

Any man that believes women are "the weaker sex," has never tried to reclaim his half of the blankets on a cold winter's night...

Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. Once it’s on you, it’s there forever.