Funny Status Ideas

I want to invent a vibrating tampon so a woman can be at her best while she is at her worst.

I wouldn't mind all the penis enlargement emails if they weren't coming from my wife.

The last chapter of every book should just be all the characters acting terrified that their world is about to end.

I'll sell my broken watch when the time is right.

There's so much cleavage on Telemundo that my baby thinks it's The Food Network.

Someday, the time I waste deciding what to watch on Netflix will be shorter than the actual time watching it

I’m an organ donor, but I’m pretty sure all they’re going to use is my liver for “after” photos.