Funny Status Ideas

My medic alert bracelet warns first responders that I kiss back during CPR.

‪Life is boring when you don’t have an online order to look forward to .

‪I set my alarm extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to get up.

‪I set my clock ahead to prevent being late but all it really did is sharpen my skills of subtraction. ‬

Bees build homes with their mouths and defend with their butts. Spiders build homes with their butts and defend with their mouths.

Saying someone has a dry sense of humor implies the existence of wet senses of humor.

Can we just call the Chinese Corona Virus Kung Flu?