Funny Status Ideas

I feel bad for lions at zoo. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn't even eat them?

How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11

How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.

I'd say I'm not a morning person but I'm really not sure I'm an evening person either.

If you pour two beers into one glass, it becomes just one beer.

"Mommy, can I lick the bowl?" "No, you can flush the toilet like normal kids."

Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.