Funny Status Ideas

Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone. And if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.

I wonder if the Three Wise Men said to Jesus, "Just to be clear, these gifts are for your birthday AND Christmas."

Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

Does the Lego movie come with a disclaimer "Some assembly required"?

I don't know what's longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.

If prisons let prisoners take their own mugshots, would they be called cellfies?

Based on the living conditions, I think Sochi thought they were hosting The Hunger Games instead of The Olympics.