Funny Status Ideas

Coronavirus won't last long, it was made in China.

I use a blender to make protein shakes in my office every day. That way when I use it to mix up a pitcher of margaritas no one even notices.

Katherine Johnson was a badass mathematician until the very end. She waited until turning 101 so she can die on her “Prime”

I won't consider myself successful until someone follows me around with a cooler of gatorade to dump over my head whenever I win at anything.

I wonder if the Three Wise Men said to Jesus, "Just to be clear, these gifts are for your birthday AND Christmas."

‪Just find out there’s no popcorn on popcorn shrimp. Guess there is no reason to try Pot Roast ‬

I went to see a fat psychic the other day..... well it was actually a four chin teller.