Funny Status Ideas

A condom and a coffin. Both are designed for stiffs. The difference is one is for coming and the other for going!

I think that they should add walking across a solid sheet of ice in your high heels as a competitive sport in the Winter Olympics next time.

Why is a bra singular and panties plural?

I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet.

I used to dream about becoming an astronaut. Now I just dream that there's still time before the alarm goes off.

A fear of mine is a proctologist with poor depth perception!

Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn't change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.