Funny Status Ideas

Ordered clothes from Dick's Sporting Goods to be delivered to my work... Sounded like a good idea until a co-worker tells you that "a box of dicks showed up for you"

Life tip #6: Don’t try to rollerblade on a treadmill. Trust me on this one.

I met a girl that was so ugly even Motel 6 wouldn't leave the light on for her.

Just replaced the cat littler with 44 packages of pop rocks...... And now we wait.

Apparently Home Depot's slogan of "You can do it; We can help" doesn't apply to masturbation.

Hyperbole is my favorite literary device, I use it like 600 billion times a day!

I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was "a tent of lovers." I wasn't really sure, but was too worried to ask.