Funny Status Ideas

Sometimes I have to tell myself, "It's not worth the jail time!"

At the end of the evening she made her offer. He wanted to respect her honor. All night long it was honor and offer!

Back in my dating days I was like the Yellow Pages, “Let your fingers do the walking.”

They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.

My life is a constant battle of preventing my muffin top from becoming a pound cake.

I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.

If I was born on December 17th, 1989 and I still had not hit puberty I would be pissed! My deepest sympathies to Bart Simpson!