Funny Status Ideas

Surround yourself with people who make you laugh until your abs hurt. That way you never actually have to work out.

My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."

Sometimes I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.

I prefer the term "personal lint trap" instead of belly button.

A kleptomaniac is just someone who can't help himself from helping himself.

48 states observe daylight savings time. The other two clock block.

Ladies, if you suspect your man of cheating and you know where the "mystery" woman lives... drive by the house and if the WiFi connects you have your answer.