Funny Status Ideas

Someone stole my wife's credit card but I didn't report it because he's spending less a month than she did.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

If something goes without saying, LET IT!

Earth first...We will mine the other planets later.

I hate when the Doctor asks awkward questions. "Are you sexually active?" Depends on what you mean by "active". There are plenty of "active" volcanoes that haven't gone off in over 50 years.

I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?