Funny Status Ideas

Turns out, I'm not an afternoon person either...

Technically, every picture is a before picture.

“Can I pet him or will he bite?” is a fun thing to ask parents that keep their kid on a leash.

There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

If you're ever sad, just imagine how much worse it would be to be a tree that spent years and years growing up, only to end up as a Justin Bieber notebook.

A guy came to my house last night, said he needed money for starving African children. I told him to get off my porch. What kind of awful person buys starving African children? Freak.