Funny Status Ideas

I want to ki██ you. (options may vary)

I remember when "selfies" were called "nobody else wants to take my picture."

I still water my dead plants every 3 months. Just in case...

Home is where the pants aren't.

Men have feelings too. For example, we feel hungry.

I've got an idea for a celebrity cereal line: Macklesmores, Justin Timberflakes, & Snoop Loops.

I was NOT taking a selfie. I was showing off my new bathroom mirror!