Funny Status Ideas

School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes

Thank God I was young and stupid BEFORE there were camera phones.

Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...

The first rule of Vegan Club apparently is to tell everyone about Vegan Club.

My wallet is like a onion. When I open it, it makes me cry.

Eating 4 cans of alphabet soup will give you a giant vowel movement.

Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. I wasn't listening anyway.