Funny Status Ideas

Me: Where can I find the milk? Her: Sir, this is a library. Me: *whispers* Sorry, where can I find the milk?

Sorry, I didn't recognize you without your Instagram filter.

Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.

There should be an observation deck at Walmart.

I only eat the entire pint of ice cream in one sitting so that I won't be tempted to eat it later.

I’m going to start responding to videos people post of their babies on Facebook with videos of me getting eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.