Funny Status Ideas

If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.

I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.

There needs to be a Life Alert for when the remote control is out of reach.

Coaster? You're assuming I plan to put my drink down...

Shia LaBeouf sounds like something a French person would say after a rotten fart.

I didn't sleep well last night so this morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. I got half way to work before I realized I forgot my car.

Polygamy sounds like a great idea in theory, until you realize it multiplies the number of your in-laws.