Funny Status Ideas

9:00 pm is time to remove your day pajamas and put your night pajamas on.

Kenny Rogers checking out during an apocalypse is the biggest knowing when to Hold'em knowing when to Fold'em I've ever seen.

I went to the bank today. I saw a man with a mask and gloves come in and thank God he was just there to rob the bank.

I’m about 1 week away from being friends with a volleyball.

To go to the grocery store, they said a mask and some gloves would be fine. They lied! Everyone else had on clothes!

We are about three weeks away from knowing everyone’s true hair color.

Today's drink: The Quarantini. It's a regular martini, but you drink it alone in your house.