Funny Status Ideas

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

I add "Drink Beer" to my weekend to-do list so I know I'll at least get one thing done.

My wife must be a history buff because she just loves bringing up old crap.

No dog should ever be homeless and no home should ever be dogless.

Clearly the people that design refrigerators don't know me if they think one tiny cheese drawer and two giant vegetable drawers is the way to go.

At times, I'm extremely grateful that our thoughts don't appear in bubbles over our heads like in comics.

You haven`t truly tested your patience yet until you get stuck behind an undecided person at a Redbox kiosk.