Funny Status Ideas

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Don't hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.

Why didn't Beyonce and Jay-Z name their kid B-Jay?

You dont really know what you have in your pantry till your broke during the week

If one door closes & another door opens, you’re probably in prison.

I can’t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.

It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver’s seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand.