Funny Status Ideas

As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".

Video games are awesome because they let you try out amazing fantasies. For example, in The Sims, I'm able to have both a job and a house!

My computer asked me to choose a password with eight characters. I chose Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

When you are dead, you don't know you are dead but other people do. It's the same when you are stupid.

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does

I am constantly putting things where they don’t belong, like the cereal in the fridge or my keys in the laundry or my faith in other people.