Funny Status Ideas

I've run out of toilet paper and I'm now using lettuce leaves. This morning was just the tip of the iceberg.

The world all of a sudden feels like a casual stroll through a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit at the end of a busy weekend.

I can't wait to one day tell my grand kids, "When I was your age, toilet paper was everywhere! You could find all over the place, even in gas station food marts1"

How long is this social distancing going on? My wife keeps trying to come back in the house.

A man and a woman can go 21 days on Naked and Afraid with no toilet paper and you sissys can't go one day without 20 rolls.

9:00 pm is time to remove your day pajamas and put your night pajamas on.

Kenny Rogers checking out during an apocalypse is the biggest knowing when to Hold'em knowing when to Fold'em I've ever seen.