Funny Status Ideas

I've never been skydiving, but I've zoomed in on Google Earth really really fast.

If your story doesn't end with "but his eyebrows will eventually grow back," I don’t want to hear about it.

I hate it when women wear pink camouflage. Where you hiding? Candyland?

Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you've got ADHD.

People that use statistics in everyday arguments are jerks 100% of the time

Facial recognition software can pick out a person in a crowd, but this stupid vending machine at work can't recognize my dollar bill with a bent corner...

Anyone else wonder about how ridiculous Batman's car insurance must cost? Think he's got comprehensive coverage, or just liability?