Funny Status Ideas

I think on my deathbed I'll tell everyone "pray for me". Then I'll give them an envelope to be opened after die with a note inside that says "Pray harder next time."

Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.

We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.

If I should die before I wake… I ask the lord my phone to erase

If you guys ever need anything always remember I’m just an unanswered phone call away.

I swear, if my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger