Funny Status Ideas

We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.

If I should die before I wake… I ask the lord my phone to erase

If you guys ever need anything always remember I’m just an unanswered phone call away.

I swear, if my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger

You know you’re a bad driver when Siri tells you “after 400 feet stop and let me out”

You only have one childhood, it may as well last your entire life