Funny Status Ideas

Do the Chinese realize that when they’re visiting America, they buy souvenirs made in their own country?

A woman’s anger is like a check engine light; there’s no pleasant way to determine what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.

Nicknames are WAY more fun when people don’t know they have them

The cashier told me “Strip down, facing me.” How was I to know she meant my debit card?

I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.

I think on my deathbed I'll tell everyone "pray for me". Then I'll give them an envelope to be opened after die with a note inside that says "Pray harder next time."

Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.