Funny Status Ideas

We only use leashes because dogs can’t hold hands

I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!

I do my best proofreading after I hit send.

* packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip * unpacks 3 months after coming home

If only closed minds came with closed mouths.

Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.

If they just built prisons out of the stuff they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.