Funny Status Ideas

I do my best proofreading after I hit send.

* packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip * unpacks 3 months after coming home

If only closed minds came with closed mouths.

Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.

If they just built prisons out of the stuff they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.

A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.

Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites