Funny Status Ideas

Camping is fun if you're into pretending that you're homeless.

When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.

If ninjas are supposed to be so super stealthy, why do they bother wearing a mask?

My bank just called me because of suspicious activity on my debit card. They couldn't believe I bought a gym membership.

Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories

My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn’t like it when I use other toothpastes.

My wife wrote an email to me saying she was concerned that we have communications issues. I immediately sent an IM asking her to clarify. She messaged me on Facebook saying not to worry but that sometimes we’re not as connected as she’d like. I tweeted her that I love her more than anything. She texted me that she loves me too and was tired after a long day of work. So I leaned over and kissed her good night.