Funny Status Ideas

I'm a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.

Mondays should start at noon.

Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.

I don’t give my money to homeless people because I believe I’m going to buy booze with it

Does swimming in debt count as cardio?

There's no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.

Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.