Funny Status Ideas

You know your day is complete when someone in a vehicle with a "COEXIST" bumper sticker flips you off.

I don’t mind going to work. It’s that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.

I’m going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.

Last night I saw a snuggie commercial, I thought it was a stupid idea, but I couldn't change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn't want my arms to get cold

If you can’t say anything nice, we should probably be friends.

I wish mirrors and pictures would get together already and agree on what I really look like.

I finally found a diet plan that works. It’s called “The cost of food”.