Funny Status Ideas

Even as little kids we knew about STDs. We just called them Cooties.

According to WebMD, I'm sick and tired of people.

Why do single women take advice from other single women? That’s like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me… from me.

Men are like dogs. We’re excited to see you and have no clue what you’re mad about.

My wife won’t get the remote that’s in the other room, but if my wallet was at the bottom of an ocean she’d be shopping already.

When Mike Tyson says “Bithneth”…… You know he really means business