Funny Status Ideas

Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you’ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief.

If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.

How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?

Instead of “single” as a marital status, it should read “independently owned and operated”

I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?

I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.

Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.