Funny Status Ideas

Does anybody else's car get 4 weeks to the gallon?

Anyone know where I can get plastic eggs big enough to hide hand sanitizer in?

My prediction of the “hot jobs” in about a year. Obstetricians, divorce lawyers and fitness trainers

Hey folks, don't forget to run out and get your Powerball tickets tonight. The jackpot is up to a 24 pack roll of Charmin.

I would listen to Bill Gates when he talks about CoronaVirus, he has been dealing with viruses since Windows 95.

AFTER ISOLATION..... Friend: Where's your husband? Wife: In the garden. Friend: I didn't see him. Wife: You need to dig a little.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately, that when I pee it cleans the toilet bowl.