Funny Status Ideas

I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name

Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus.

Taco Bell gift cards are a great idea. People can get food & gas all at the same time.

Canada is located right next to the country with all the guns and bombs. Of course Canadians are polite.

People who think I’m not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.

Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.

I finally met a woman my mother likes. She acts like my mother , talks like her, and even has similar looks. My father doesn't like her.