Funny Status Ideas

Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don’t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!

I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave

I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it...

My wife says I talk while I sleep, but I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.

Textaphrenia – thinking you've heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.