Funny Status Ideas

I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave

I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it...

My wife says I talk while I sleep, but I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.

Textaphrenia – thinking you've heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.

"Come on, no one else is doing it!" - Hipster peer pressure

I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.