Funny Status Ideas

When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.

A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.

Jurassic Park was a cautionary tale about the dangers of underpaying IT workers

This polo shirt has two buttoning options: Uptight golf prick or disco chest hair.

Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don’t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!