Funny Status Ideas

Electric hand dryers are great for when you want to just give up and wipe your hands on your pants.

I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

The sign said “WET PAINT” so I emptied my Dasani water bottle on it. I’m currently waiting on further instructions.

Don’t you wish some people would start using a glue stick instead of lipstick?

Political views are like children. Some people don’t have one or want one. Others keep trying to show theirs off

Taking viagra for my sunburn. Doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!

I’m glad they finally made waterproof phones. Pushing friends into the pool is funny.