Funny Status Ideas

You can look at some people and instantly know they’re only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.

We never really grow up, we just learn how to act in public.

At my funeral play the Super Mario original theme until my casket is lowered in the ground then play the underground music

I’m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.

My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy…

Someone once told me, “GO FOR BROKE!” I’m happy to report that I succeeded…

If you’re looking to work 2 hours a day, 3 days a week for about $1000 a week please contact me! We can look for it together.