Funny Status Ideas

If there's a bar where everybody knows your name, you're probably an alcoholic.

What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.

I love sleep because its like a time machine to breakfast.

This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”

Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job

They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs

Caller ID should be more detailed~ “Wants Help Moving” “Going to Whine” “Will Ask to Borrow Money